Summary
In this episode, we talk about Clippy making a comeback, how it really HAS been Agatha all along, and really get in our feelings about the finale of Season 6, Episode 22: Grave.
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Myth Taken: A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Podcast 
Okay, I have some thoughts about this episode. First, the Xander of it all:
I completely understand what you both are saying about Xander kind of sucking in a lot of ways this season, and not wanting him to be the hero because that kind of makes it seem like yes, actually, he should have been that entitled and oh, how much he has suffered surrounded by these powerful women. Let it be known that the true hero is the man, because he is the Everyman (as opposed to a self-insert) which is totally a thing that exists and that we should elevate.
I totally get that. The reasons the Xander-Willow ending doesn’t bother me are:
We know Willow’s core issue with magic is that she has deep-seated insecurities and problems with self-confidence that her mastery of magic helps her stifle because it makes her feel powerful and significant (and being with Tara makes her feel significant too). As she grows more dependent on using magic it’s really more about a growing need to feel powerful and she ends up hurting those around her, which introduces a new element of self-loathing. Xander is the one person who has known Willow since childhood, before she was a scooby and felt she had a purpose, when she was at her absolute most vulnerable- the version of herself she’s the most ashamed by if we look at her dream in Restless. Xander is the only one who can speak to that version of Willow, and that’s what she needs. He can say no, I knew you then and I’ve always loved you; that version of you is worthy of love and I love you unconditionally.
Also, I don’t think this makes Xander the hero of the season, just the one who can get through to Willow. And it helps (for me) that Xander’s misdeeds this season really weren’t about Willow. Xander, as much as he had his own stuff going on, had some nice moments with Willow this season, including the one at his wedding (pre.. everything that happened after). So Xander’s other issues don’t really preclude him being able to bring Willow back, and I don’t think it makes him a hero any more than anyone else is a hero this episode.
Finally, I think if the other scoobies had also tried to save Willow in that last scene, it would have felt unrealistic and maybe trite, largely because I think this season (though it has had some real strong points) hasn’t earned that kind of ending at all. The closest we’ve had to that kind of ending is Primeval, but that was built up much better in season 4. In the episode prior to this one when Willow’s calling Buffy out on her hypocrisy about wanting to live, it works because Buffy hasn’t really gotten to the stage where we believe she wants that, truly (which is why her epiphany with Dawn doesn’t feel quite right either). To have Buffy be able to speak to Willow with any clarity about why her and everyone’s lives are worth saving, we would have to be able to believe that she meant it, and I don’t think she’s there, because the season hasn’t told that part of the story particularly well.
(I’m going to make a second comment about Willow and Giles – sorry for all the rambling!)
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Giles and Willow:
I think Willow’s use of magic and her issues with magic (addiction metaphor aside) make a lot of sense and get to the core of her character, and have been building over practically the whole series (see my comment above, and I’m sure I’ve talked about it before in many previous comments). I think Giles’ reaction to Willow using magic also makes a lot of sense. I think Giles was completely unprepared to deal with Willow becoming a witch, for a few reasons:
First, he was already experiencing pushbacks and challenges in his vocation as watcher. His relationship with Buffy became familial in a way he didn’t expect, and I think working with her and focusing on her took a lot of his time and energy. I don’t think he expected being a watcher to become so much more than training and guidance, so I don’t fault him for not wanting to take on more by also becoming responsible for Willow, given that her own parents certainly didn’t seem to be much help in that area (and though Willow showed eagerness to learn, she didn’t actually ask for guidance; she wanted his books and his knowledge, but I have no idea how much she actually would have listened to him, given that she goes through his private collections without his knowledge when they have information she wants, which she admits to in season 3).
Secondly, I think due to his own history with magic and his used of it which left him (literally) scarred, Giles was quite gun shy about magic generally. He used it as part of his duties as watcher, using ritual magic when needed to fight evil, but he didn’t experiment with it and he looked down on its use that way (see his reaction to Xander’s spell in season 2). Willow’s interest in magic was also precipitated by another traumatic experience for Giles – Jenny’s death (and Jenny was killed specifically because of a spell she was doing). It’s no wonder that he didn’t want to help Willow learn. This ends badly, but I don’t necessarily blame him for not taking it on. It’s just that Willow’s issues then eventually become everyone’s problem.
What I do find especially interesting is that from the beginning Giles is worried about Willow’s interest in magic, but he places that worry on the back burner because a) nothing seems to be going very wrong with it yet (and he wouldn’t know what to do about it if it did) and b) Willow’s power is useful to the team as a whole. But he does hint at his worries over the years, most notably early on when Willow is first learning and in Something Blue, and we see that when he expresses his concern, because he does so kind of half-heartedly, Willow either ignores him or pushes back. Things don’t come to a head until their argument at the beginning of season 6, and at that point I think Giles might feel that the train has left the station and that he has no idea what to do about Willow.
I think there’s no way Giles doesn’t come off as callous for leaving (to Buffy specifically) and irresponsible considering what he knows about Willow – which as far as I remember he doesn’t even talk to Tara about- the only other person who has some awareness of Willow’s issues. So I don’t necessarily think Giles is in the right overall, but I think his reactions to Willow’s magic make total sense at least up until he leaves in season 6.
Phew – I think that’s all I need to ramble about on this episode, at least for now. 🙂
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